KidLit Works: Crafting Strong Openings

We’re picky. 

If the opening lines of a picture book don’t pull us in, we’re apt to toss it aside. Even if we do read on, we’ve already made a judgment. Sometimes we’re wrong, but usually not.  

Agents and editors have little time to read the hundreds of manuscripts that pour in weekly; they make quick judgments. Hook them early. Let them know this journey is worthwhile. And remember, not only must your opening grab adult readers, your opening must also have that “Read-it-again, please” kid appeal! 

Here’s a (non-exhaustive) list of things to keep in mind when crafting strong openings: 

Strong opening lines do one or more of the following:

• use fresh, concise, specific language
• set the scene or tone for the whole story
• introduce the main character(s) and their problem
• hint at what’s to come
• create questions that make readers want to know more
• explore a universal theme in a unique way
• create a sense of anticipation
• establish a rhythm that pulls reader in
• create a sense of immediacy
• engage multiple senses
• create a strong emotional hook
• disrupt the reader’s expectations
• start in the middle of the action
• use fun word play
• make readers laugh
• offer a twist on a beloved classic or classic structure

We share books from KidLit Works members and a few favorite authors. Some are brand new, some much older. But their openings (all under 70 words) have staying power. Whether preparing for an international writing challenge like Vivian Kirkfield’s #50Precious Words, spit-shining manuscripts to impress Mindy Alyse Weiss and the judges over at #PBParty, or polishing for the ultimate submission to your top agents and or editors, we invite you to use these fabulous reads as mentors for crafting your own strong opening.

Tricky Chopsticks 

By Sylvia Chen, illustrated by Fanny Liem (March 26, 2024, Atheneum)

Opening: No matter how hard she tried, Jenny Chow couldn’t master chopsticks. She fumbled them at home—Ka-ziiinng! Wā!—during dim sum,—Splat-chooo! Āiyā! Kuh-punng-k-k—and worst of all, in front of her cousin Victor. (word count-32)

Why we love it: Sylvia Chen’s humor sets the tone in this opening, as we’re introduced to our main character and her problem. Chen has fun taking risks with language (notice the active engagement of onomatopoeia) while piquing readers’ curiosity–Can she? Will she figure it out?

The Gabi That Girma Wore 

By Fasika Adefris and Sara Holly Ackerman, illustrated by Netsanet Tesfay (Little, Brown, February 27, 2024)

Opening: This is the cottonseed, oval and slight, / hugged by the soil and warmed with light… / to sprout the Gabi that Girma wore. (word count-22)

Why we love it: Fasika Adefris and Sara Holly Ackerman’s opening applies a fresh theme to a beloved classic. In this case, a cumulative story structure. Adefris and Ackerman’s rhythmic pacing invites readers to indulge in the rich, descriptive language that creates vivid imagery in readers’ minds.

Peaches

By Gabriele Davis, illustrated by Kim Holt (Atheneum, May 7, 2024)

Opening: Summer Sundays begin with picking. With me and Grandma, straw hats tilted to tease the sun, walking side by side into our orchard. Rosy-ripe peaches dipping low to the ground, sun-warmed and soft like Grandma’s lap. (word count-36)

Why we love it: Gabriele Davis’ poetic, rhythmic opening immediately establishes place, time, voice and tone with fresh lyrical language that draws us into this intimate, intergenerational summer scene. 

Not Done Yet

By Tameka Fryer Brown, illustrated by Nina Crews  (Millbrook Press)

Opening: Before she was born, Shirley would kick so hard, her mother knew she was aching to come out and fight. Her mother was right. Shirley Chisholm was a natural-born fighter. She didn’t like to be bossed and she wanted things to be fair. (word count-43)

Why we love it: Right away, Tameka Fryer Brown sets expectations with strong, energetic language that defines the spirit of determined-force Shirley Chisholm. Hinting at the expectations of fairness, readers anticipate Brown’s delivery of… bold encounters? Well, let’s turn the page. 

Wat Takes His Shot

By Cheryl Kim, illustrated by Nat Iwata (Lee & Low, June 16, 2024)

Opening: Wataru Misaka entered the world as a ball of energy! Living in a tight space beneath his father’s barbershop, Wat found creative ways to keep moving. His family couldn’t afford expensive sports equipment, but that didn’t stop Wat. (word count- 38)

Why we love it: Once again, language takes the stage. In this opening, Cheryl Kim’s active play on words establishes a sense of place that subtly contrasts with the characterization of a motivated, determined Wataru Misaka. With just a few words, we form a connection. We root for Masaka.

Opening the Road: Victor Hugo Green and His Green Book  

By Keila V. Dawson, illustrated by Alleana Harris (Beaming Books)

Opening: Victor Hugo Green was tired of hearing no. Victor loved the freedom of driving on the open road, but too often the road was closed to him. It was like this for most Black people in the United States. When he and his wife, Alma, traveled from New York to Virginia to visit family, they risked getting turned away, yelled at, even hurt. (word count-63)

Why we love it: With a gut punch of emotion, Keila Dawson immediately establishes time, place, and the harsh historical realities of African Americans. In her sixty-three word opening, Dawson hints at what’s to come, creating questions that make readers want to know more.  

All Different Now 

By Angela Johnson, illustrated by E.B. Lewis (Simon & Schuster)

Opening: A June morning breeze off the porch blew the smell of honeysuckle past the fields, across the yard, and into our room to wake us. And nobody knew, as we ate a little, talked a little, and headed to the field as the sun was rising, that soon, it would be all different. (word count-53)

Why we love it: Angela Johnson’s opening lines create a sensory experience. You smell the honeysuckle and feel the June breeze as Angela’s purposeful pacing and well placed words draw you into the scene… creating such anticipation.  

My Cold Plum Lemon Pie Bluesy Mood

By Tameka Fryer Brown, illustrated by Shane W. Evans (Viking)

Opening: I’m in a mood / A feeling kind of mood / A being kind of mood / Is what I’m in / A purple kind of mood / Cold-plum eating / Grape-juice drinking / On the couch / Bobbing to the beat kind of mood / A purple kind of mood / That’s what I’m in. (word count-46)

Why we love it: Oh such originality in this emotional opening! Rhythmic cadence pulls you in, engaging your senses in this mood piece. This opening drops you right into the MC’s cool, jazzy, experience, immediately signaling the evocative engagement you’re in for.

Dozens of Doughnuts 

By Carrie Finison, illustrated by Brianne Farley  (G.P. Putman)

Opening: Early one morning, as autumn leaves scatter, / LouAnn’s busy stirring a big bowl of batter. / She’ll eat some sweet treats, then, warm and well-fed, / she’ll sleep away winter, tucked tight in her bed. / One dozen doughnuts, hot from the pan. / Toasty and tasty, and ALL for–Ding Dong!–Woodrow? (word count-49)

Why we love it:  Carrie Finison’s opening has so much to offer! Rich with alliteration, her words come to life in rhythmic, rhyming verses, revealing an unexpected surprise that disrupts the reader’s expectations.   

Me & Mama 

By Cozbi A. Cabrera (Denene Millner Books / Simon & Schuster)

Opening: Good morning to you, sings Mama, bright as sun. Sometimes she sings it like the birthday song. I’ve tiptoed to where she is in the house. It smells like cinnamon. Papa and Luca are still sleeping, but I want to be everywhere Mama is. (word count-44)

Why we love it: Our senses are awakened in Cozbi A. Cabrera’s universally appealing opening as she invites us to share a parent and child’s quiet, early morning moments. Her emotionally resonant language carries us along, and we want to keep reading.

Ronan the Librarian

By Tara Luebbe & Becky Cattie, illustrated by Victoria Maderna (Roaring Brook Press)

Opening: Ronan was a mighty barbarian. He invaded. He raided. And back home, he traded. He always found the greatest treasures. Until one day, Ronan found something no barbarian wants: A BOOK. (word count-31)

Why we love it: The fun of the pun sets us up for a wild, laugh-out-loud ride. Tara Luebbe & Becky Cattie use humor and sophisticated word-smithing to shock readers in an unexpected and playful way. There’s nothing barbaric about this opening!    

The Loud Librarian 

By Jenna Beatrice, illustrated by Erika Lynne Jones (Atheneum)

Opening: “It’s Monday,” said Mr. Park. “Time to select our new student-librarian.” Penelope teetered on the edge of her seat. “This week’s student librarian is…Penelope!” Penelope nearly fell over. She had prepared all year for this moment. At home, Penelope had practiced her alphabetizing, her book-cart pushing, and her due-date stickering. Penelope was perfect for the job. Friendly–check. Helpful–check. Booklover–check. There was just one itsy-bitsy, thunderous snag. (word count-66)

Why we love it: Jenna Beatrice’s opening shows why humor is the Queen of hooks. Her  hilariously descriptive list of skills defines Penelope’s character and moves us from one amusing moment to the next. Her humorously contrasting language (itsy-bitsy, thunderous) creates a question that makes readers turn the page.

STEGOTHESAURUS 

 By Bridget Heos, illustrated by T.L. McBeth  (Henry Holt & Co)

Opening: Once upon a time, there were three dinosaurs. A stegosaurus. “Hi.” Another stegosaurus. “Hi.” And a…stegothesaurus. “Hello! Greetings! Salutations!” He was a little different from his brothers. (word count-27)

Why we love it: With these few lines, we have a clear setting and a well-defined main character. The humorous contrast between characters lets us know we’re in for fun and sets up the premise of the story.